what gets me through the hard moments?

What has a 100% success rate at getting me through the hard moments?

Writing. My journal. Contemplation. Sitting with myself and allowing the natural cleansing & purification of my psyche as I write to learn, release, transmute and transform.

For years i have shown up for my self-reflection writing and contemplation practice as devotedly as brushing my teeth. For it has been my life line, my life vest when life has tried to pull me under.

The times when I felt I had no one to talk to or couldn’t share my very real, sometimes confronting thoughts to anyone,

the page was there.

Holding an open, blank, neutral space.

And here, I could take up as much space as I wanted or needed. the page would never judge, talk back or grow impatient with me,

it was simply there to receive me - all of me.

These filled pages now exist as time capsules for this journey of mine.

The sweet memories, the difficult moments,

the full holy spectrum of suffering & salvation.

The ink forever drawing me closer to myself, to truth, to relief, and to freedom.

I love that I can revisit my growth, read back and receive potent, timely messages from my past self.

It’s a living memoir of every moment I unraveled only to be stitched back together more true.

A hand to hold, this journal my most trusted confidant, best companion, always by my side and willing to receive me.

Gently whispering,

“Come as you are - bring me everything, for I will love & accept you no matter what. I will hold space for your process of self-discovery, growth and artistic alchemy.”

I'll never forget when I went to a local psychic’s shop in the town I grew up in back in 2014. He told me to write. That I had great creative potential and wasn’t taking advantage of it.

Later that year, my brother gifted me my first adult journal (I was keeping diaries since I learned to write - you remember to those ones with the little locks and pretend keys? but I stopped somewhere along the adolescent journey). One average day, I began writing. Whatever struck me - reflections people gave me, ideas and intentions, and eventually, began connecting with the deepest parts of myself I had never before been aquatinted with.

A slow and gradual start, it took me a solid 5 years to fill that first journal. I truly had no idea how big of a role journaling and self-reflection would one day play in my life. Once the second journal came around, writing became a more consistent ritual, a meditative & ceremonious space for me to commune with all parts of myself (inner child, my muse, my higher self, various wounded parts, my inner oracle & inner wise one), my human experience, my emotions, and my unfiltered thoughts. With full abandon, it became the most precious and successful cathartic practice for me to empty myself out.

I found that I could self-soothe and self-regulate in times of stress or pain...

that I could tap into this infinitely flowing channel of inner wisdom, solution, clarity & guidance...

that I could quite literally arrive to the page feeling one way and leave it feeling completely transformed...

that I held the power to create alchemy - transmuting certain emotions & energetic states and producing something entirely different. Honoring the truth of my experience while simultaneously holding the power to transform it into a more beneficial result.
 

I came to discover its alchemy. How my connection to the pen and the page were the tools to accessing the most powerful part of myself as an infinitely creative, resourceful and omniscient being. I realized that fostering a loyal relationship with reflecting on my life, journaling whatever felt most alive & integrating the continually unfolding potency of my ever-expanding consciousness was absolutely imperative to my mental health, emotional stability, and overall state of clarity, centeredness, and wellbeing.

It is my outlet to express everything - the shameless and raw and gritty and real. The full holy spectrum it beckons the truest of me, this psyche and this soul. Writing has singlehandedly been the most valuable and fruitful self-connection & self-care practice of mine - keeping me true, grounded, mindful, and oriented towards growth & what matters. Writing has supported me through all of my deep life experiences - from the trenches to the summits. The lows to the heights. The trials to the triumphs. It has unfailingly guided my ability to transform my reality, my relationship to what unfolds in that reality, and reclaim my faculty for peace. My willingness to pick up the pen and write - for the simple sake of self-love, has allowed me to be the alchemist of my life.

Beloved, there is great power in knowing who you are. In being connected to this agent for omniscience inside of you. In order to maintain an authentic driver seat of your life, you have to be connected to your contemplation. To your wonder, your curiosity, and most importantly - your frankness with yourself.

For the more we know ourselves, all parts of us and our authentic essence, the more sober ability we have to show up in life intentionally and receive all the bounty and blessing this life has to offer.